The Ego Check We All Need

By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | October 16, 2025

So, here’s something I’ve never admitted out loud.  I’m a little embarrassed to say this, but when I look at a photo that I’m in with others, the first person I look at is myself.  Even pictures I’m in with my kids!  Is that bad?  Does that sound vain?  Do I have an inflated ego?  Now, for the record, it doesn’t last more than a second before my gaze turns toward the other people in the picture, but I have recently noticed that I get my own attention first.  This realization had me feeling quite concerned, as I worried that I might be a narcissist.

Upon deeper reflection, and a closer look at the true definition of narcissism, I was relieved to discover that this was not the case.  However, it still gave me a moment of pause.  Candidly, my bigger concern was that I was becoming like so many people in society who seem to be insanely self absorbed, and it terrified me to think I might be travelling down the same path.

As an example, over the weekend we took the kids to a waterpark, and along with the many vomit inducing slides, there was a huge hot tube located in the back corner of the complex.  My kids begged me to go in with them, and although I’m not usually a fan of taking a bath with complete strangers, I acquiesced.  While floating around, wondering whether this body of water had the correct amount of chlorine, I noticed a young woman taking selfies.  And it wasn’t the kind of selfie a person takes to commemorate a moment, but rather the kind that requires lips to be pursed and angles to be perfect.  Commemorative selfies are accomplished in a couple of seconds, whereas these kinds of photoshoots take about five minutes to get it right for public consumption.  

I have no doubt that you have either seen this type of thing with your own eyes, or perhaps have done it yourself?  Personally, I’ve often found it dumbfounding.  No matter how many times I see it, I simply can’t stop being in awe when it happens.  It’s similar to the way I feel when I fly.  I’ve flown more times than I can count, and yet each time I look out the window of a plane I still find myself feeling amazed they get that thing off the ground!  The same is true when I observe others self-aggrandizing.  Every day, I see self indulgent pictures being posted on social media and wonder, “Am I the only person who is in awe of this stuff?”

From a woman posting a picture of herself in the bathroom mirror of a fancy restaurant to the individual sharing images of their recent weightloss journey, I’ve always wondered why people feel the need to make these things public.  Whoa!  Hold on!  Something just occurred to me while writing that last sentence.  I just realized that I am offering extreme examples of people somewhat bragging to the world, but doesn’t that just afford me a “higher than thou” position?  In writing those words, am I trying to make myself look superior to others?   Have there not been times when I’ve posted pictures of myself standing in front of an audience at a recent keynote?  While so, was I trying to market my business or trying to look good?  When choosing my profile picture, do I not select one that makes me appear fresh, polished, and dare I say handsome?  Of course the answer is yes, so what the hell is it all about?

Well, I guess it has to come down to the ego, right? Said another way, it all comes down to the image of ourselves we want the world to see, and one that we are so desperately attached to.  So, while I’ve never felt compelled to go to the extreme of posting pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror of a restaurant, front row at a concert or on top of a mountain, does that mean I am still not affected on some level?  And if that’s true, are we not all affected by the ego?

When people ask you in conversation how you’re doing, and your answer always points to how busy you are, is it possible that your ego wants to project an image of being successful?  When someone announces on Linkedin an award or promotion they recently received, is that not their ego saying, “Hey world, look at how good I am!”  If I comment on some big news event, am I trying to add value to the conversation, or am I trying to appear smart in the eyes of others?

To me, these questions, and many more, are all important to ask, because if we don’t ask them we risk living a life that is not authentically aligned with our true spirit.  Many years ago I had the pleasure of interviewing people who reached a state of enlightenment, although they would never give themselves such a title.  Ironically, if they did it would only prove that they weren’t enlightened at all.  However, during those interviews I was struck by their complete detachment from the ego.  Never before had I met people who were simply unaffected by the perspective of others.  It was a beautiful thing to witness, and I couldn’t help but want it for myself.

Since then, I have done everything in my power to work toward achieving such a mental state, and can assure you that I am still light years away.  For me, and I suspect you as well, one of the biggest barriers in that journey has been the invention of social media.  Never before has there existed such an opportunity by which I could reinforce the image of myself I want others to see.  Before this invention, I had to share these declarations about myself either verbally or by taking out a frigging advertisement in a local newspaper.  Today, I can broadcast how “special” I am multiple times, and have it find you wherever you are, even if that happens to be on the toilet.  You simply can’t hide from the “awesome” I want you to see, and what's better is that I can hide the ugly parts I don’t want you to know about.

I find that as I work to raise my consciousness, the more aware I become of the suffering that is attached to this social “sleight of hand” trick we all try to play.  Whether it’s during our face to face interactions, or by what we post online, the more we project a scripted version of ourselves to the world, the harder it becomes to feel what it’s like to be who we’ve always been.  Put differently, the more time we spend curating an image of that which we are not, the less time there is left to be that which we truly are.  And when you realize the choice between one over the other is yours to make, it is then that you will be released from that jail cell that never actually had a door.

Much love,

Stuart

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