By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | December 11, 2024
I must admit, offering my opinion on a topic such as this is not usually my jam, and comes with a certain sense of trepidation. Mainly because I know there will be many readers who will either disagree, be angered or experience feelings of downright dismay at the angle I’m offering. However, you know me, so here goes nothing!
As a starting point, I need to acknowledge the fact that it’s hard not to see the world through the eyes of our daily lived experience. For example, if you arrive at someone’s new home with a group of friends, Architect Amy will notice the beautifully curved roof, Arborist Anthony will be drawn to the petunias, while your bestie Carissa, the car dealer, will be drawn to the Mazeratti parked out front. We are naturally drawn to what we know and love. It is for this reason that I can’t help but look at the world around me through the lens of human connection.
When I witnessed the same news reports as yourself, about a young man who had gone rogue shooting a CEO from a Fortune 500 company in midtown New York, I was just as shocked as anyone. Being in NYC at the time of the shooting also added a feeling of anxiety, knowing this mad man was running through the streets with a gun in his bag. After the shock wore off, like everyone else, I found myself wondering why a person would do such a thing, only to soon find out that he had anointed himself a modern day vigilante, and was aiming to right the wrongs done to the disadvantaged. Instead of accomplishing this goal, he sadly, and pointlessly, took the life of someone’s father and husband, without making a dent in the cause he was fighting for.
In the coming days of processing what had happened, I found myself looking at the situation through the lens I often due, which led me to wonder what his human connections were like. From the surface it seems like he came from a loving and supportive family, had good friends and had lived in nice communities over the past few years. However, being immersed in the field of human connection for decades, I am fully aware that a person can have hundreds of weekly interactions with others, and still feel very disconnected.
With that said, please know that I am not about to try and take you down a path of feeling sorry for this cold blooded killer, but instead find myself trying to explore how he became that version of himself. In fact, I think it’s a disservice to ourselves to not ask how any person becomes the person they are, whether it’s someone that dedicates their life to the charity of others, or someone that takes the life of others.
Too often we forget to see ourselves as being capable of being one of many different versions of the current person we are. For the most part we think “This is just who I am”, not realizing that the circumstances that led us to where we are today could have been different, thus landing us somewhere entirely different. At the moment Luigi Mangione senselessly shot Brian Thompson, I believe he was living one of the lowest versions of himself, compared to the many other versions of himself he could have been. And I couldn’t help but wonder what it would have taken for him to not have become the higher version of himself that would not have wanted to do such things.
I obviously do not know the exact answer to that question, but I have come to know that it is often our relationships with others that steer a person toward one version of themself over another. With that knowledge, I wondered whether there was a missed relationship(s) with a friend, family member, lover, etc. that he could have had that would have led him to a version of himself that made different decisions. I even wondered if a chance encounter with a stranger in the days leading up to the shooting may have caused him to change his mind, and thus the course of many other people’s lives. Let’s not forget that a ten minute conversation with a stranger still constitutes a relationship, albeit a short one.
The answer to these questions above is obviously a resounding yes! Of course certain relationships, and even a fateful conversation with a stranger, could have made things go differently, yet it looks like that didn’t happen. Pondering this scenario got me thinking how close anyone of us are to choosing a path that causes others pain, and whether certain relationships in our lives, and even conversations with strangers, caused us to choose differently. Yes, there are people on this planet who are destined to do horrible things regardless of the relationships they hold, but that isn’t true for most of us. The majority of us will either love or lie, cheat or challenge, sing or save, run or retreat, maximize or minimize all based on the relationships we choose to have.
So, with that, all I can say is that I hope you choose wisely.
Much love,
Stuart
And by the way, as a side note, I can only assume that this is what excites me so much about the launch of our new Human Connection Group Membership program beginning on January 6th. Imagine being part of a group of like-minded people taking on a monthly challenge of having one meaningful conversation with a stranger. When I envision that group growing to thousands of members, I am filled with sheer joy at the mere thought of how it could impact the lives of others. It is my dream to make people feel seen, heard, supported and connected to the world around them. And who knows. One day it might even save a life.
I’d love for you to join this new movement. Learn more at https://www.humanconnectiongroup.com/membership
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