By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | November 21, 2024
You know that feeling you get in your gut when a voice deep down says you have to make a change, and every part of you doesn’t want to do it? Out of nowhere, it tells us that we need to break free from some old version of ourselves, and immediately our logical brain interrupts with a multitude of well thought out reasons why that gut feeling is wrong.
We say things like….
“If I give that person just one more chance, I’m sure they will change.”
“I don’t need to leave the company all together, I just need to move to a different department.”
“In the long run, the kids are better off if we stay together.”
And while we try to reason with those gut feelings, they always respond by saying, “Sure, you keep telling yourself that, and let me know how it works out for you. When it doesn’t, we can revisit this conversation in a few weeks.” Damn you gut feelings!! Why are you always right? Why do you make me feel this way? And who the hell do you think you are speaking to me like this in the first place? Hold on! Who am I talking to? Are you me? Are you some higher version of myself in the future? Are you God? Am I God?
It’s gotta be something right? Because the voice speaking to us seems to be so distinctly different from the voice in our head. Where is it coming from? And how is it so frigging accurate in its predictions? Man, if that same voice played the roulette table at the casino, I’d sure as hell saddle up next to it, and copy its bets. Show me the money!!!
Throughout my life, that voice has magically shown up at every single fork in the road that I have encountered, and each time nudges me in a direction that is almost deafeningly subtle, but roaringly loud if I allow myself to listen. And no matter what road it pushes me toward, there has always been a recurring theme, which is to accept that taking the risk of attracting a better life requires a willingness to let part of myself die.
And that’s exactly what makes it so hard! It’s knowing that the moment I choose to move forward is the same moment I choose to leave part of myself behind. And dammit, I really like that part of me! Why can’t I just move forward, and take it with me? If I do, I promise to not look at it very often. I could even put it in my back pocket, or drag it behind me in a suitcase or perhaps mail it to a future address? Do we have a deal? Pleaaaasssse?
Of course, we all know what the voice will say if I make such a request. It will tell me that I have full sovereignty over my life, and can make any choice I want. But, just before I do, it will say, “Remember, while exercising that sovereignty, you are choosing between the life you already have, and the life you one day want”. And when I begin to realize that, I feel like I’m getting a tiny glimpse into what life is really about.
Whatever is on your list of things you are willing to die for, I only hope that you are one of them.
Much love,
Stuart
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