The Long Life Hack
- Stuart Knight
- Jan 17
- 3 min read
By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | January 17, 2025
If I asked you to name the top things you do each week to achieve a long life, you would probably tell me that you try to eat well, exercise as much as possible and aim to get a good night's rest. Some people go further by saying they also meditate, do yoga and prioritize spending time in nature. Now, I think we can all agree that these approaches to longevity are valiant strategies in beating father time, and should be practiced.
However, how many people would say that one of their best tactics to achieving a long life is asking great questions? My guess is that most would find that to be an odd query in itself, and might be wondering what this has to do with beating those “life expectancy” odds. I’ll get to that in a second.
For now, consider the following:
A meta-analysis of 148 studies (308,849 participants) published in PLOS Medicine found that strong social relationships increase the likelihood of one's survival by 50%
Chronic disconnection to others increases the risk of early death by 26%.
Areas in the world with the highest concentration of centenarians, people reaching the age of 100, also have the highest rates of community bonding and daily social interactions amongst the elderly.
A Harvard study that’s been ongoing since 1938 discovered the single strongest predictor of happiness and health into old age was good relationships.
So, let’s get back to those great questions, shall we? Have you ever considered the role they play in your life? I would imagine that you can see how big questions such as, “Will you marry me”, or “How much time do they have left”, or “Is your company taking on new people”, can change the trajectory of your life, but what about the everyday? Could asking different questions during those less sensational and predictable encounters have an unexpected impact? Could great questions help you live longer?
THE SCIENCE SAYS YES!
What happens when you ask better questions? Well, quite frankly you force people to give you better answers. If on a Monday morning, I ask you how your weekend was, it's likely you’ll give me a generic answer, and we’ll move on. However, if I ask you what the best part of your weekend was, I have now invited you to share something meaningful, which increases the chances of us discussing a topic of substance. A better question leads to a better connection, and when that happens, we begin experiencing the many physiological and psychological benefits that come from bonding on a deeper level.
DID YOU KNOW THAT HUMAN CONNECTION…
Activates the brain’s reward pathways, particularly the ventral striatum, leading to positive emotions.
Reduces activity in the amygdala, lowering anxiety and fear.
Releases dopamine (pleasure/reward) and serotonin (mood stabilizer).
Triggers oxytocin, which promotes trust, reduces cortisol, and supports cardiovascular health.
Lowers blood pressure, inflammation, and the risk of chronic disease.
Activates the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest”), calming the body.
Strengthens the immune system, where people with strong social ties show higher natural killer cell activity, stronger antibody response, and faster wound healing.
Leads to deeper, more restorative sleep.
IT ALL STARTS WITH GREAT QUESTIONS!
Eating well, exercising and getting a good night’s rest doesn’t happen by itself. It requires someone intentionally making that salad, driving to the gym and not staring at their phone before going to bed. Meaningful social connection follows the same rule. Those who choose to thrive in this area of their life do so by intentionally engaging others with questions that quickly shoot past the superficial.
They understand the difference between asking someone what’s up compared to what matters. They know that when they raise their game with the questions they ask, that they no longer tease out meaningless information from another person. Instead, they are deliberately choosing to set a stage where feelings can be exchanged between human beings.
And whether they know it or not, they are choosing to live a longer life.
How about you?
Much love,
Stuart
PS. When you’re ready to have more meaningful conversations in your life, I encourage you to become a member of The Human Connection Group. The only investment required is your time (only once a month). Sign up for free HERE.
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