Life Isn’t Fair — And That’s The Lesson

By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | October 29, 2025

This week, a group chat amongst the parents of my daughter’s mutual friends at school popped up on my phone.  It was about the apparent mistreatment of our respective children, and the originator of the thread wanted everyone’s feedback.  She was alerting us to an injustice that occurred when the grade five classes were recently brought into the auditorium for a slight reprimanding.

A few days earlier, a group had been invited to their school to give a presentation, and while doing so, a handful of kids had been disruptive and rude.  For that reason, the school principal brought everyone together to tell them how disappointing it was to witness such behavior, and that if this continued in the future, things like the end of the year trip would be cancelled.  During this mild admonishment, the principal did apologize to the students who had acted appropriately, basically saying “this doesn’t apply to you”.

My guess is that every person reading this has similar memories of sitting in their own school auditorium, while receiving the same type of scolding.  It was part of life, and we all went through it.  However, let me ask you this.  After such an occurrence, do you also remember one of your parents calling the school the next day to complain about you having to endure such hardship?  It’s likely that I don’t even have to ask that question, because we know the generation of parents before us couldn’t conceive of intervening in such a way.  Instead, our parents would have said, “Our expectation is that you are respectful to others, and whether or not it was you, this was a good message to hear from the principal.”

And this is exactly what we said to our daughter when she recounted the same story to us.  But that’s not the new parent of today, is it?  Nope!  The new parent of the day (not all parents obviously) sees every moment of hurt their child experiences as an infringement of their sovereign rights as citizens of planet earth.  It’s as if they believe their child should be immune from all bad days, or any type of discomfort, and if someone causes it, they will be on the receiving end of their wrath.  And this is exactly why the parents from the thread I mentioned above have sent emails, and requested meetings to discuss the unfairness of their child being subjected to stern words when they weren’t the actual perpetrators.

For us, when our daughter cried foul for having to endure the same thing, we were quick to remind her that life isn’t always fair, and while she has the right to feel frustrated, it’s unrealistic to think she shouldn’t have to experience moments such as these.  We said that because life is full of moments like these!  To complain to the school would only teach her that she is entitled to the bubble she would like to wrap herself in, and would simultaneously miss the chance for her to learn how to handle such inevitabilities.  We wanted her to know that life is consistently unfair, and while she can’t control that reality, she can control her reaction to it.

Now let’s be clear.  Personally, I don’t always operate from that higher place of consciousness.  Like other human beings, I can be prone to those pity parties we all like to throw, where I angrily blame the world for its unfairness, and the negative ways it makes me feel.  However, when the party is finished, and all of the cake is eaten, I’m left knowing that every minute I dedicated toward the injustice of it all was a minute I could have used more effectively.

I could have used that time to recognize that unless the unfairness of my current situation kills me, I still have agency to influence the future I desire.  As much as I may prefer the road to remain smooth, I’m still here, alive and able to circumvent the inequity of my current circumstances.  And I would never suggest that a person shouldn’t stand up for themselves when they’ve been unfairly treated.  What I am saying is that there needs to be a balance between trying to change others, and trying to change ourselves.

I believe that it should be our goal to make the world a just and fair place for everyone, but while travelling toward that utopic promise land, let’s not forget the valuable lessons that can be learned from handling those very things along the way.

Much love,

Stuart

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