By: Stuart Knight (Founder and CEO) | November 28, 2024
Earlier this week, while journaling in my notebook, from nowhere, a question popped into my head. For some people, when that happens, they believe it to be the voice of their chosen God, which is fine by me. For others, like myself, when those random voices pop up, I see them as my spirit guides. Regardless of who is blabbering on in the background, here’s the question it asked of me this week.
“Stuart, when you try to inspire organizations to foster more meaningful relationships at work, what are you really asking them to do?” At first, I didn’t know the answer to that question, but after a little thought, my pen scribbled down the following words: “I want organizations to hold themselves to a higher standard of excellence.” And the second I finished writing that sentence, another voice, this time coming from my gut, piped up saying, “Bullshit!” Daman you gut! Why are you always right?
That’s not what I’ve been trying to inspire organizations to do for the past twenty years, and the much smarter part of myself knew it! Unfortunately, that wise part of our soul that pops in with sage advice, can retreat just as quickly, while we’re yelling, “Ok fine, you’re right, then what is the answer to the question?” That’s when the gut dissolves into the shadows, with a smile on its face, whispering, “I can’t give you all of the answers now can I? But keep seeking and you shall find.”
So, I stopped journaling, and begrudgingly went about my day without a clear answer on the question I had been asked. By mid afternoon, I found myself speaking to my partner about this query, and the inaccurate answer I had given about wanting to” help companies reach a higher standard of excellence”. To that she said, “I’ve been watching you do this for years, and what you’ve always wanted is to help organizations LOVE better.” Mic Drop!
I was instantly floored with a “knowing” that she was right, and couldn’t believe that it had never occurred to me to articulate it that way. Mainly because I’m so much smarter than she is! :) That was it! I’ve spent decades, along with thousands of hours on planes and in hotels, travelling the word asking organizations to love more! Realizing this filled me with elation, knowing I could finally begin communicating exactly what I’m trying to do! Eureka! However, this was quickly followed by a feeling of terror, as I imagined being laughed out of the room if I decided to use the word “love” in any of my future sales pitches. “Hey there Fortune 500 company, my name is Stuart Knight, and I’d like to help you love more! Wait, where is everyone going?”
I realized that what I was feeling was the same as what I had felt in the past when I knew a relationship had come to an end. It was that awareness that I could never go back, coupled with the terror of not knowing what the future would hold. As you read these words, I know that using any other word other than “love” to describe the impact I want to have through my keynotes, online courses and team building experiences would be an unfair representation of what I’m trying to do.
Knowing that scares the hell out of me, because the monkey in my brain immediately begins spinning stories that aim to convince me that, besides a charity that saves baby seals, it will be hard to convince organizations that they can achieve their goals through greater amounts of love! But isn’t that exactly what human connection is? If I ask the guy selling me gum at the store how his day is going, or compliment the elderly woman on her beautiful coat, or spark up a conversation with a stranger, isn’t that an act of love? Isn’t it saying, “Hey, I see you, and I love you enough to acknowledge you in a way that’s meaningful to you”?
And if that’s the case, what’s happening when a manager asks her direct report to share the best part about their weekend? What’s taking place when the salesperson gives his customer a chance to tell a funny story from their childhood? What about the colleague who says to a coworker, “So, when you hang out with your kids, what’s your favourite thing to do?” I’d posit that the second anyone in business gives another person a chance to be heard, is the same moment that other person feels loved. Is it the same kind of love they would feel from a parent, friend or life partner? No, but does it matter?
I thought love comes in many packages. If that’s true, is there room for individuals and organizations to begin looking for ways to show a little more love every day? Sure, the yearly conferences are great, and moments when colleagues come together to support a charity should continue, but nothing will compare to making the effort of offering a daily dose of love. And if the individuals of any organization are showing love to others outside of work, why should they stop doing it between 9am to 5pm?
You know, I’ve watched the online debates surrounding the notion of whether people should be forced to go back to work full time, as opposed to working mostly remote. Some say it’s necessary for productivity to be together, while others describe it as one of the greatest evils to bestow upon a person. The one question I have yet to see anyone pose within the “ping ponging” of points, from either side, is whether the place employees are being asked to return to was a place of love to begin with? Was it a place where, before the pandemic, people felt loved? If the answer is no, then where is the incentive to return?
It reminds me of a distressing statistic that I read in an article years ago that said, 90% of young people that run away from home to live on the streets came from a family where they were either physically, sexually or emotionally abused. I remember thinking that made complete sense. Rare is the case where a child runs away from a family that showers them with love on a daily basis. And I believe that same mentality can be applied to any place of work. If you want people to come back to the office, implement strategies of love, and watch what happens.
Whether it’s getting people back to the office, increasing sales, attracting talent or decreasing sick days, can an organization achieve their goals with a strategy of being more loving? I believe the answer is yes. Will they? I guess that’s for the individuals who work there to decide.
Much love,
Stuart
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